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“The commander of American-run prisons in Iraq says the military will not turn over any detainees or detention centers to Iraqi jailers until American officials are satisfied that the Iraqis are meeting United States standards for the care and custody of detainees (emphasis mine).”

Well if there was anywhere overseas where we weren’t already a laughing stock…

Link.

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They actually got Darlene Love to sing for this claymation short. I love the line about Daily Show reruns. Via the always infotaining ladybunny.net.

Link to video.

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“We have a right to our own name and Google has allowed the use of our name on Blogspot without our permission,” said Susan Perlman, associate executive director with Jews for Jesus.”

“Our reputation is at stake,” Perlman told Reuters.

Link

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Rove Implicated In Santa Identity Leak

December 21, 2005 | Issue 41•51

WASHINGTON, DC—The recent leak revealing Santa Claus to be “your mommy and daddy” has been linked to President Bush’s senior political adviser and deputy chief of staff Karl Rove.
Enlarge ImageRove Implicated In Santa Identity Leak

Rove, who stands accused of revealing the non-existence of Santa (below).

“If this devastating leak, which severely undermines the security of children everywhere and has compromised parent-child relations, came from the highest levels of the White House, that is an outrage,” said former Bush counterterrorism adviser and outspoken Bush Administration critic Richard Clarke.

Link

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“Moongazing reveals the chaotic world of Uranus”

Thank you, good night.

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Letterman Restrained by Tormented Fan

David Letterman has been temporarily restrained by a woman who believes that he torments her over the airwaves using a secret code.

New Mexico resident Colleen Nestler filed court documents late last week, alleging that Letterman has been using code words, gestures and “eye expressions” for more than 10 years to convey his desire to marry her and train her as his cohost.

Well that’s all well and good for Colleen, but what about the rest of us who have also been receiving messages from Dave every night? For example, here you can clearly see Dave telling me that he wants me to have his baby.

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The thing that I miss the most about my life in New York (besides the pizza) would have to be the Yule Log. When I asked someone in Georgia what channel they showed it on down here, I had some explaining to do. But I couldn’t explain it. I also couldn’t admit that, while I thought it was absolutely hilarious, I did let it burn on my television set on more than one Christmas occasion.

Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn!

Thanks to Henry for the memories.

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“It wants the same kind of protection enjoyed by Champagne and Stilton cheese.”

Looks mighty nasty. I wonder if it tastes like chicken.

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This is an excellent op-ed piece about the recent revelations about the NSA spying on Americans. The level of secrecy with which the Bush administration conducts itself and the authoritarian rationale that it has managed to impose on the country is troubling.

This is indefinite dictatorial power. And I don’t use that term lightly; the very definition of a dictatorship is a system that puts a ruler above the law. In the weeks after 9/11, while America and the world were grieving, Bush built a legal rationale for a dictatorship. Then he immediately started using it to avoid the law.

This is, fundamentally, why this issue crossed political lines in Congress. If the president can ignore laws regulating surveillance and wiretapping, why is Congress bothering to debate reauthorizing certain provisions of the Patriot Act? Any debate over laws is predicated on the belief that the executive branch will follow the law.

Link

Stolen from BoingBoing

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It’s chaos!

“There is an illegal strike going on and until the workers go back I don’t think anybody should be negotiating anything,” Bloomberg said. “You can’t break the law and then use that as a negotiating tactic.”

Click here for the MTA Strike Contingency Plan

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Judge Rules Against Pa. Biology Curriculum

Hey, you can read the judge’s decision online.

Link

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Commuters walk over the Brooklyn Bridge early this morning after a transit strike went into effect across the city.

Workers walked to their offices in bitter cold, long lines formed for taxis and the police inspected cars at tunnels and bridges as transit workers started a strike this morning, shutting down New York City’s subway and bus system after contract talks with the Metropolitan Transportation Authority broke down.

The disruption will prevent people from going to work, cause millions of dollars in economic damage and seriously upend the life of the city in the week before Christmas.

read the source

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Bill O’Reilly and his moron followers think Christians must be offended by “Happy Holidays” but Jews have no reason to be offended when they’re told “Merry Christmas.” Where’s the fucking logic in that???. THERE IS NONE. And if I’m not mistaken (and I’m not — I checked the dictionary) holiday means HOLY DAY, which describes — duh! — CHRISTMAS! Oh, and guess how Bill O’Reilly was selling his O’Reilly Factor ornaments (TV show ornaments for your tree –yet more evidence these folks can’t grasp the point of the season) on the Fox website until he got caught by bloggers — AS HOLIDAY ORNAMENTS. These pinheads even missed the message of the Charlie Brown Christmas special, despite the fact that it was written for children and HAS BEEN SHOWN EVERY YEAR FOR 40 SOME ODD YEARS, yet still the point of which hasn’t penetrated their thick skulls, that CHRISTMAS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR TRIP TO THE FUCKING SHOPPING MALL. I’m keeping the tree up but going back to Xmas’s pagan roots and celebrating the solstice with it. This guy sums it up pretty well: Fuck Christmas. Maybe between now and the 25th these schmucks will shut their pie holes and let me salvage some holiday spirit. And next year leave my holiday alone!

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Inspired by posts from Eponymous and about a billion church signs, I set out to find out what exactly the ACLU was doing to take the Christ out of Christmas. I’ve been hearing quite a bit lately about the ACLU’s challenges to using the phrase Merry Christmas and encountered several people who adamantly refuse to say Happy Holidays. It all seemed a little strange to me. And what I’ve found is nothing. I’ve been unable to find any actual litigation (or even threats of litigation) brought forth by the ACLU concerning the use of the term Merry Christmas. I did, however, find this:

Of course, there is no “Merry Christmas” lawsuit, nor is there any ACLU litigation about U.S. currency, military chaplains, etc. But the facts are not important to these groups, because their real message is this: By protecting the freedom of Muslims, Jews and other non-Christians through preventing government entanglement with religion, the ACLU is somehow infringing on the rights of those with majority religious beliefs.

In truth, it is these Web site Christians who are taking the Christ out of the season. Nowhere in the Sermon on the Mount did Jesus Christ ask that we celebrate his birth with narrow-mindedness and intolerance, especially for those who are already marginalized and persecuted. Instead, the New Testament — like the Torah and the Koran and countless other sacred texts — commands us to love our neighbor, and to comfort the sick and the imprisoned.

That’s what the ACLU does. We live in a country filled with people who are sick and disabled, people who are imprisoned, and people who hunger and thirst for justice. Those people come to our Indiana offices for help, at a rate of several hundred a week, usually because they have nowhere else to turn. The least of our brothers and sisters sure aren’t getting any help from the Alliance Defense Fund or WorldNet Daily. So, as often as we can, ACLU secures justice for those folks who Jesus worried for the most.

Is this story entirely fabricated by the right wing media? Is this just a massive piece of propaganda and fundraising designed to inspire fear by right wing groups? I desperately hope not, but I’m beginning to suspect that this is the case. Perhapse someone more informed can illuminate this matter.

Link

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Vicky Pollard is a 14 year old mother who traded her baby for a CD, as well as my favorite character from the BBC’s Little Britain. Here’s a clip of Vicky in action.

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Alice

I stole this from Chip, a.k.a. Ariel.

Which DISNEY character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Bored? Unmotivated? See how far you can launch a kitten.

(Thanks, Marcus!)

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Georgia’s governor, Sonny Perdue, has asked Georgian’s to take part in a boycott on Aruba due to the lack of participation into the disappearance of Natalee Holloway. Perdue is supporting the boycott that was proposed by Alabama governor Bob Riley.

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A copy of the James Joyce masterpiece, Ulysses, today sold for €107,000 at an auction in London.

The first edition fetched over twice its guide price at Sotheby’s sale of English Literature & History Books in New Bond Street.

UK book trading firm, London Trade bought the literary work, which was put up for sale by an anonymous vendor.

“There was very competitive bidding as it made over twice its guide price of €50,000,” a Sotheby’s spokesman said.

Today’s biannual sale also saw a copy of Joyce’s Dubliners make €7,300 and The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde fetched €17,000.

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Here are my worthless two cents on “the barn” being shut down.

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In an effort to make your Monday morning less offensive, I give you this little snippet of Ricky and Chris. If this doesn’t manage to put a smile on your face, then you suck. Go and take your Monday morning misery someplace else, and stop infecting the office with your negative stench. They have a name for people like you, but people like me don’t use words like that.

You will need Quicktime 7 to view the clip.

Enjoy!

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Or Happy Holidays if you demand on being PC.

I’m going to the tropics where Christmas is warm. It’ll still be a white Christmas ’cause sand counts in that definition.

See y’all in ‘06, may it be a year with fewer hurricanes.

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“A few of the nation’s schools are already running pilot programs to monitor students’ movements using radio frequency identification (RFID). The highly controversial programs, implemented in the name of student protection, see pupils wearing tags around their necks and submitting themselves to electronic scanning as they enter and leave school property. Now, a new federal grant could lure more districts into using these or similar technologies. ” - The NewStandard. Link.

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ATLANTA - Transit police handcuffed and cited a man who sold a $1.75 subway token to another rider who was having trouble with a token vending machine. More…

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The year is almost up, so everyone should have their receipts organized if you plan to itemize deductions on your taxes.

One of the more interesting things that you can deduct is gambling expenses, including lottery tickets.

It’s just a thought, but if some enterprising entreprenuer were to collect all the useless lottery ticket stubs that people litter around convenience stores, you might be able to get enough “expenses” to deduct a significant portion of your income…

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Wonderful Graffitti on the downtown Taco Stand cash register. Never a truer statement.

Click here for more.

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